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But the day before the test, I simply couldn’t stop thinking: If I pass the exam, how easy would it be to quit in the middle or very likely right at the beginning? If I don’t, what would they think of me and what would I do then? Either way was just pointless, to waste time lingering on something terribly unwanted. Not that teaching lacked fun or pleasure. Being a teacher was not what I wanted as I always dreamed to do something greater. From experience, Chinese education was hateful to me. Besides, how could I use “Guanxi” as connection or walk in through the back door, which was a typical form of social corruption that I hated?

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